you don't realize that you love someone untill you don't lose him...

I look for you here and there but i see
nothing,
I wait for you but you will never
come.
I'm sitting in the window, staring at the passing people by
but they are not you,
I had a dream but then i woke up and i saw you are not around
like you used to be,
Since you died , you left me so empty,
so many words unspoken inside me, so many things undone,
since you died i'm changed, i lost my way, i lost myself, i lost my faith.
There are 3 months passed...but it was like yesterday when i had a call with the bad news ...For all that time i passed many test, some i took and some i felt....
The child in me died..and i strongly kept is so many years...
But there is a thing that bothers me so much..why did you left without saying even a word? Everytime i hear the word father is makes me sad...because i have no one who i can call this word...i cry a lot..and i had never cry so much before...
its like myself is painted in black ...i don't know when i will get over all...maybe never... I have so many words inside me..they fills me up and they will explode soon...